One thing I’ve learned is that “flesh protects flesh.” I find this to be especially true of myself. When being led by the Spirit of God, occasionally He has me do things or allow things which cause not only great discomfort but even conflict and division. How can this be if God is never the author of confusion? How can it be that when God moves in certain ways that His people can become uneasy?
An example of this occurred recently. Some brothers from the Church introduced me to a person that they wanted to be a guest speaker. The Holy Spirit instantly “informed” me that this Man of God (he really is a great Man of God) was not to preach, but that he was to speak some things to me and to the Church.
I met with him personally and it was a very uncomfortable meeting but he told me truths that I needed to hear. Truths that others around me for various reasons either cannot or do not share. It hurt but it was necessary for my personal development. I then had him share/pray with the Pastoral Staff, and again, it was painful but productive. There was one item which was spoken over one of our Pastors which I don’t believe was accurate, but after many years in the ministry, I have learned to “eat the fish and spit out the bones” and to not judge a prophet but the prophecy itself. I know this is difficult for many to accept, but I can receive prophesy from a believer, an un-believer, a person of character or a person of ill-repute, and more importantly, through a person that I like or a person that I dislike… if through a donkey, then let it be so. God will speak through whomever He wants to speak and it is up to us to discern what is from Him and what is not no matter the messenger or the style (packaging). God’s Word says that nobody sees in full and we all speak in part… even those who walk in the office of prophet. I asked him to be available for our two services on Sunday and to be ready to pray should the Holy Spirit lead me to allow him to do so.
In the early service, he delivered a powerful word targeting the musicians. The word specifically dealt with two cases that I have now been made aware of but it was addressed to all of them. The problem with this is that they all felt embarrassed as if it was an issue for all of them. For those who have been around prophetic ministry, this is a minor thing but for those who have not been, it is major. The amazing thing is that the timing was right on… we were in the midst of recording ICCJ’s first album and this kind of “cleansing” was needed in order for us to be and to do better.
It is messy. The embarrassed people had questions, and fortunately, our Pastors and more mature leaders have mostly been able to explain things and turn it into a positive situation. Messy but worthwhile if seen all the way through to life changes and understanding.
In the second service, the Lord spoke to me and instructed me to allow the Man of God to close the service with prophetic prayer rather then to pray after worship as he did in the first service. When the time came, I balked (backed out) … I was going to just end the service and not let him close. It’s easier and less messy. After all, the people who would be “targeted” would surely get their breakthrough at another time in a more comfortable way…right? Well, I can’t answer that because I am not God. Only He knows that. I must do as I am instructed by God’s Spirit.
So the Spirit of God arrested me. Actually it felt more like a kick. I knew that I would grieve my Father if I did not allow this Man of God to pray at the end. I said to the Lord in one of those split second conversations,
“what if he makes a mess?” The Lord answered me,
“there WILL be a mess, but don’t worry about it because there are some things that must be learned.” I thought to myself… “GREAT... WONDERFUL...”
This would be yet another one of those times that my Counselor, the One who leads me into truth would take me on a journey that will cause people to question whether or not I am really hearing from Him. I already knew in my mind and heart what was on the horizon and I had a choice to make. I chose to not quench the Spirit, though with the understanding that He would be flowing through a human vessel with some undoubtedly human things coming through along with what the Spirit would bring.
I asked the Man of God to close the service with prayer, sharing what God asks him to speak. He shared some things, valid things, and then started to call some people out specifically. Many in the audience freaked, especially because they were scared that they might get called out. I personally did not want it to continue because I felt that in an Indonesian context, sensitive things should be spoken of privately… at least without the microphone. I moved towards him to take the microphone and then the Holy Spirit kicked me again, telling me
“do not interrupt My servant.” And so I simply re-positioned myself to the other side of the altar. I cannot describe to you how much I wanted that microphone back… I wanted to tackle him.
I will likely never know if everything spoken was completely accurate or not, but that is not the point. The point was to be faithful to the voice of the Spirit of God. Based on my knowledge of those spoken over, it was at least mostly accurate. It went long and many people left... many fearful and many angry. If I could do anything over again, I would have invited anyone to leave if they needed or wanted to, because in Indonesia, people will generally wait to leave until the benediction prayer. This is a very respectful culture. If I made a mistake, this is what it would be, but I don’t know if it was or not. Maybe if I had done that, many who needed to experience this might not have. One of the beautiful things which can also be a frustration is that when we walk with God, He turns both positive and negative experiences into something that He uses for His glory.
Now comes the flesh with the Spirit on the visiting Man of God’s part. He used a very rude term when addressing me. There was an audible gasp in the congregation. One of the big complaints in the aftermath was that he was disrespectful to me. But to be fully honest, I didn't feel that way and I felt loved by God and saw it necessary that my congregation would see me submit to public correction. Technically, it was not swearing because he did not take the name of the Lord in vain, but it was rude enough that I cannot write or repeat it. I understand that in the country he comes from… on an entirely different continent… that this kind of talk is common even from the pulpit. For those of you in Indonesia who were in the service, you would be surprised to know that I have heard that very term spoken from the pulpit in Singapore at least 3 times because though Singapore is near, the culture even there is not like it is here. People in Churches in Singapore wear clothing to Church that most Indonesians would not dream of wearing. Wrong? Let God decide and speak to hearts individually my friend. "Judge not unless thou also be judged." We have to understand culture. That man of God now knows how rude that term is in Indonesia and should definitely be sensitive to the culture here and not repeat the experience. It’s sad, but this kind of thing takes from the credibility of what God is doing.
I left that service wondering what in the world God could possibly have to teach me and others through this service and experience. I also knew that my phone would be ringing off the hook once everyone finished their now very late lunches.
I received reactions across the board from people wanting me to have him preach in the future to people being anxious that some are so upset that they might not come back to the Church. It is possible that some might not come back… particularly some of our visitors and newer people. But shall I listen or shall I not listen to the Holy Spirit of God even if a mess occurs? If I grieve Him then I might as well become a business person again… which I am not willing to go back to. One man sent me an SMS (text) saying that this is an answer to prayer… that God would establish more of the prophetic ministry in the Church so that more would receive deliverance and breakthrough. Another brother told me (not in a rebellious way) that my “approval rating” as a Pastor used to be a 10 but is now very low… That’s a scary thought when scripture is applied to it. Should Pastors make decisions based on a public approval rating when God has already clearly spoken to their hearts?
Much of what I “learned” is that though I do not want or believe that this exact format of prophetic ministry is what ICCJ needs, it did identify the fact that we are lacking and must make improvements. The “words” spoken were mostly correct but they were delivered harshly and not in uniformity with the culture of our Church. I am praying that God will show me how to establish more prophetic ministry in a way that is both sharp and gracious. I believe that it is possible and I thank God for this rough experience. I am among the first to admit that I sometimes need a kick to get moving in the right direction.
As the calls, SMS’s, E-mails and conversations have unfolded; it has become increasingly clear that the public element of the “words” delivered was necessary. The cases represented there were in need of unified efforts to help them and the right people heard the prophetic words and were able to coordinate their efforts. People were helped. They received ministry coordinated by the Spirit and delivered by the Body. But again, as I develop myself to implement the changes to making ICCJ what God desires, I understand that there is a limited public where this would be more beneficial then a general public. But ultimately, I promise you that whether I like it or not, whatever, whenever I hear God’s voice instructing me to do or allow something, I am committed to doing it exactly… no matter what the public back-lash brings. This is God's Church, not Steve's Church.
God is good all of the time and I am grateful that He knows exactly what we need in order to grow… I even thank Him for this “radiation treatment.”
We had a prayer meeting 3 days later and several people, including 2 of my Pastors testified that they were against what had happened… very much against it. But that in the 3 days since that Sunday, they discerned that it was God and it was supposed to happen. Here is another lesson. It doesn’t matter how people “feel” at the time of ministry. It is about long term results. Several people admitted that they left or hid because they did not want to be exposed. How can this be anything but beneficial? They ended up getting right with the Lord because it was a wake up call which exposed the need for repentance.
There is much more but I will begin to wrap it up here. Maybe I will write more on this in the near future as God teaches us more. Many of us sense that this has somehow sparked a huge change for the better at ICCJ. You may be asking if I am going to let that man of God preach? Probably not… I don’t let anyone preach unless I have heard from God. But if God says to allow it, then I will. We shall see.
Flesh protects flesh, but no flesh can approach God and live. It’s a problem for all of us. I want more of God and I will do whatever I can to kill my flesh so that I can experience more of Him. I’m looking for those who will go with me to the mountain of God, not just sending their Pastor as the people did Moses because they were afraid of the thunder and lighting. Will you go with me? Are you willing to face discomfort and fear in order to glimpse His presence? Are you willing to die?... even to be embarrassed or uncomfortable? I pray so. Let’s go!!!
